I nearly had a mini heart attack the other day when my cousin theorized on the roots of the phrase “tying the knot”. She was wondering why I keep using those words rather than “getting married”. And then said she thought those words originated from female bondage, some sort of idea of possession and a rope tying you to your husband etc etc.
That idea was thankfully put to rest real fast. Thank god for Google. The theory is that it originates from the practice of tying knots around the wrists of the betrothed couple during the ceremony, similar to hand fasting today, and Mexican lazo rituals.
I might still be shying away from the words “getting married” although that is most certainly what we’re doing, because it still seems like something that grown-ups do. Yes I’m aware I’m 30 years old.
I have a huge reluctance to identify myself as a bride. The squeee-ing from people who find out I am wedding planning still takes me by surprise. I think part of me still doesn’t know what to do with the exclamations of “Congratulations!” Obviously I over analyze, but what exactly am I being congratulated on? Finding the right person to spend my life with? Hitting a traditional benchmark in life? “Snagging” my man?
Logically I understand that I’m surrounded by people who love me and they’re just simply excited for what is a big ritual in most people’s lives. Their wishes are coming from a place of joy. Still, the crazy voice in my head wonders if I am being congratulated because I’m female, and all girls want to be brides and get married and wear pouffy white things and birds on their head, and now YAY! At long last it’s happening for me.
Yes, I should just shut the fuck up and smile and I do. It’s getting the crazy voices to stop over analyzing that I’m working on.